1. CHERRY LIMEADE
2. FROYO
3. PIZZA
4. PEANUT BUTTER
5. FRENCH TOAST
6. POPCORN
7. WHAM BAR
8. DOGS
9. HOT CHEETOS
10. OXYGEN (THANK YOU MOTHER EARTH)
11. BEEF JERKY
12. NUTELLA
13. LIPS (KISSING)
14. SNACKPACKS
15. BACON CHEESE BURGER
16. H20
17. WAFFLE FRIES
18. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
19. PINEAPPLE SLICES
20. CEASAR SALAD
slime dog you are my friend is a collection of 16 poems. published march 13, 2013. it is my first freely available collection of poems that i want to spread out to as many people as possible, for free. thank you to all my friends for supporting me to make this possible.
http://slimedogyouaremyfriend.com/
in 2012 i wrote my first book. 120 page poem / illustration / short story book.
learn more about it at raddddd.com
this is an exceprt from my book raddddd which you can get here
8 foot tall big foot with a yeti beard like gandalf
he awakes at night in a forest in the state of oregon
but this bigfoot is an evil wizard bigfoot
he preys on house pets, not for food, but for fun
its 3am and your dog layla is sleeping in the backyard
its 3am and the evil wizard bigfoot casts a spell on your dog layla
layla teleports to the middle of the atlantic ocean
evil wizard bigfoot laughs and walks back into the forest
the next day there is a sign posted on a light pole
‘reward: golden retriever layla’
this is how pets go missing
evil wizard bigfoots
this is an exceprt from my book raddddd which you can get here
I always dream about aliens visiting earth. What if one day they just crash-landed in front of my car as I was driving to taco bell? What if one day I went spelunking somewhere in Oklahoma and found an alien base in a cave? What if one day I am climbing around in a McDonalds play place with my son and I find an alien hiding out next to the slide entrance? Here are 10 questions I would ask them.
1. Can I Drive That Thing? Wow look at that spaceship. Are those 22" rims? They are shinier than Mr. Cleans head and that's really shiny. I like the color you picked out for it, it looks like you colored it after seeing our Rosemary Leaf-beetle Chrysolina Americana. I think Xzibit from Pimp My Ride would be really jealous.
2. Do You Want To Try Some Of My Earth Snacks? Anytime you want to stop by for snacks at my home you are always welcome. There are lot of nice snacks here on Planet Earth. They are human made snacks you can't get anywhere else. Come try our moon pies. Come try some of our Sunny-D, it's the sun in liquid form. Come try snack packs, they are my favorite.
3. How Many Ghost Aliens Are In Space? I know that aliens have to die sometime. Maybe your life form can live up to 2049 years. But still there has to be some dead aliens out there. Do you guys do séances for your dead uncles? I would love to know about all the space battles he has been in or what his favorite space pet was.
4. What Was The Blood Alcohol Content Of The Aliens That Crashed In Roswell? You can't trick me. I know you aliens had to be under the influence of something when you crash-landed that UFO in Roswell. Was it alcohol or is there some secret universe drug that us humans don’t know? Can you get high snorting astral space dust? Please tell me, I think we could create the first human to alien interstellar drug ring.
5. Are Any Of You Disguised As Humans Or Animals On Our Planet? I imagine aliens living among us undercover like in Men-In-Black. I can see you guys sitting back living a human or animal life while observing our species. If so you guys are doing a good job on the disguises. How funny would that be if my dog was actually your alien dad? I take my dogs on walks a lot and he looks into the sky a lot while blinking. Is blinking your secret alien code? You guys can’t trick me I know more than you think.
6. Are All These Mythical Creatures On Our Earth Just Aliens That Got Left Behind? Why did you guys leave your friends here? We love them here but I think sometimes they get frightened and tired of running from us humans here on earth. Sometime I think the Loch Ness monster gets light headed and sometimes passes out because whenever she comes up for air she is always scared of being caught. You can take them with you, I know the Yeti would be happy to live on the moon.
7. Did You Ever Get To See Good Burger? I think you would really appreciate our human creativity in creating secret sauces. There is also a scene in there I think you would enjoy where the 3 dimensional burger from Mondo Burger falls onto Mr. Wheat’s car. It is a true crash landing hamburger. Welcome to good burger home of the good burger, may I take your order?
8. Are There Any Alien Babes In The Universe? I love all babes. I can't wait to see what the alien babes in the universe look like. I am imagining a green skinned Kate Middleton. Wow such a babe. I would use one of Saturn’s rings to propose to her.
9. Which One Of You Guys Played In E.T.? I want to meet him. I want to touch his light emitting finger and get space knowledge so I can be the first extra terrestrial boy on earth. I will make sure the FBI and government don’t know about this. I would be so excited to be an extraterrestrial boy. E.T. I love you.
10. How Many Versions Of Team Rocket From Pokémon Have You Guys Found Floating In Space? It almost seems as if Team Rocket gets launched into space every episode. I can't help to think of them floating forever in space. I think the creators of Pokémon just have dozens of Team Rocket clones ready to be launched into space. I can't wait for us humans to explore space and find the Team Rocket clones in space.
everyone knows using the word ‘great’ is better than ‘good’. everyone knows using ‘gr8’ is better than ‘great’, but i have recently discovered an even better way to say ‘gr8’ and its ‘gr9’. i thought about it a while after my finger slipped onto the 9 key instead of the 8 key. what did this mean? i feel like i have discovered an alien burial tomb on mars. i feel like i have to tell everyone my discovery.
gr9 is better than ‘gr8’ in many ways. obviously the first thing of why its gr9er than gr8 is because of the number. mathematically 9 is a higher number than 8. making it truly a gr9 substitute. this is a shift on positive words. make it known to your friends that you feel gr9 today. never say good. if you feel just ‘good’ you are not having a gr9 time in life.
even though saying ‘gr9’ (pronounced ‘gr-ine’) might feel weird. this is directed more towards writing down either on internet posts/chats or (e)mail. i hope you feel gr9 today. tell your cat you feel gr9. tell your favorite snacks you feel gr9. its a gr9 earth we are living on. have fun on it.
a track from my audiobook im making for my book. learn more about my book here http://raddddd.com/
